Damned Hearts

Another day, another time. Waking up wasn’t easy, wasn’t as simple as any other day. I needed to get up, but the blinding light of the hologram was before me, chaining me to the bed. I allowed it, tracing the color of her hair with my eyes, the sleeve of her jacket, the symbol on the ship behind her. 

The blinds rose on their own, filling the room with light. The sharp edges of the hologram faded a little then rallied, and the picture became a little brighter. It annoyed my fresh eyes quite a bit, and yet I couldn’t look away, couldn’t lose this.  

The anger in my stomach rose, the leaden weight of her death, the lack of numbness, depression and all the sadness in me closed around my chest and although my eyes were tired of crying, they cried anyway. I turned over, not being able to look at that stupid photo anymore. Not being able to see her eyes and face and believe she’s dead. As they all are.

Of all the people I had to lose, she was the one I couldn’t live without. 

The flowers has started to grow over the graves, getting into the dirt and staying there. I didn’t mind, it was better this way, they would have liked it like this.

I cleaned off the morning rain and grit from the gravestone before me. Staring at the name embedded into the stone, I started to trace the letters with my fingers but snatched my hand away quickly, that was bad luck after all. 

I immediately felt even worse, anger buzzing in me without fizzing out. Who cared if I got bad luck, who cared if I traced every damn name in the graveyard, they weren’t here to stop me. No one was. 

I’m not buried, I’m not dead, I walk this world. I stand before the graves of those who have fought with me, those who laughed and drank and loved with me.They left me. I swallowed my words around the sound of my pounding heartbeat thundering through my ears. My hands were clenched tight and I wondered what my old friends would say now. 

What would everyone think of me? Would they be saddened or ashamed at my behaviour, would they be angry or would they have sympathy. I wished they were alive to be all those things and more, I wished I wasn’t like this. I wouldn’t be like this if they would just live. If she hadn’t died. 

I couldn’t breath, I knew I looked fierce and terrible all at once, as if I could command an army and perform executions in a single breath. I wasn’t supposed to be here, it wasn’t supposed to be here, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

I could see the world start to blur around me as tears came to my eyes. My face scrunched up and I clenched my teeth in anger, before I started to smooth my face out. I sighed as tears fell on the grave before me. The tide of anger had passed, the numb depression had come back. All I wanted was to just go back home and crawl into bed and never coming out again, but I couldn’t move. It was as if I was rooted to the spot before her grave, like another one of her beautiful flowers, left there to wilt. 

I swallowed once before sighing again, there were no tears left for me to cry today, I should just leave before I made a mess of everything again. But no, I promised I would come, every single day until I couldn’t take it anymore. 

If nothing else was left in this world, all I had left was my word. 

Kneeling down on the packed dirt, I plucked flowers, twisting their stems into flower crowns while I started to talk. 

 

I distantly realized, I was crying. The pounding of my heart drowned out every other sound. 

What had gone wrong, where was she, why wasn’t she here. I did what I had to, she had to come back now. The ritual was complete. I knew I shouldn’t have, balance was never something to mess with, but I couldn’t stand being here without her. She had to come back, I couldn’t do this without her. 

“Please, please, forgive me.” I called out again. I didn’t care if she never forgave me, as long as she was alive to hate me, it would be worth it. We had all tried so hard to save this world, we had bled and sacrificed and never gave into the odds, why couldn’t she live then. After everything, why did she have to be the one to die. 

The swirls of the stark white mist around me stood out against the darkness, deep enough to swallow me whole. She should have come out, come back with me. 

She never did and I came back alone, having to pay the price for my foolishness.  

 

Light filtering through the trees, dancing with the shadowing and swaying in the wind, the scene looked like one from a movie, wisteria blossoms floating along the breeze, in and out of sight. The nightmare had yet to end. Dreams were as real as the mind made them to be and she knew them best of all, the unreality of shadows, the crazy colors, the changing scenes, nothing new. 

She watched peacefully as the shadows danced on the dirt floor, the wind whistled and the shadows deepened. One could never tell what was wrong with the scenery around them, until it was too late. The mind lied, trying to trick itself into security, but the devil could never come through on his promises. She turned away from the blossoms just as they started to change color and drip red.  

Before the story came to an end she looked for the fireflies, but none came out before the end. Yet It was already time to come out, she thought there was a way out now, and she had to take it before the story ended, before the scene changed, before the shadows deepened. 

Nothing was truly left behind here, and she had never truly left, but she could go regardless. She thought there was someone calling her. It was time, and yet the world didn’t wait, she had to press forward, into the darkness she slipped as the shadows swallowed her whole. 

 

“Don’t worry, well get there soon. They’ll take care of you.” She didn’t question it, he didn’t seem like a bad person, really. He had found her after she had stumbled out of the darkness that was filled with white mist, the wrinkled old man with unfocused eyes helped her. He lead her into the town, down the streets, towards the Center.  

The Center, where they took in everyone regardless of past. People who wanted to work, homeless who littered the streets, the young that had no family. The Center was for the lost, and she was lost. 

All she hoped for now was a home.   

 

“Yeah, I understand.” No she didn’t, but she wasn’t about to tell him that, or anyone. She didn’t want them to think she was stupid. Didn’t want them to discard her like she was worthless, she wanted to know, but more than that, she wanted to show them she was obedient. 

She grabbed the clothes handed to her and set out for the changing area. There were already scores of kids already lounged in uniform around the gym. She took the change room just as someone else came out and did her best with the uniform, getting distracted by the material, claps and the fact that she finally had time alone, for however brief it was. 

She recited the rules to herself, to keep reminding herself, to remember, to know something. 

“One, no eating, unless food is expressly given by government chefs. Two, eyes down face forward, don’t look at the staff in the eye. Three, always go to class, do not get caught being late. Four, don’t drink anything and don’t ask to drink anything. Five, do not go near the fence, death is not kind, nor are people.”

The rules dictated the world she now lived in. She knew there would be more later, more rules, more punishments, more work. She knew things would get worse. And yet, as long as the rules weren’t looked at too closely they were easy to follow. Five simple easy rules made for obedient workers, and obedience is all they wanted.

At least she was alive to be obedient.

 

The curve of her face was beautiful in the moonlight. She was smiling, and though I only saw half of it, I knew she was as beautiful as I remember. 

The tight feeling in my chest almost brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t help but feel it’s been too long, and not long enough since everything happened between us. After all this time, I couldn’t understand how I still felt this way, but I knew I would for the rest of my life. 

God, but she didn’t even remember, though I did. I knew all that had happened between us: Everything we lost, everything we faced together, and all of that was lost to her. It killed me sometimes that she couldn’t even be slightly like her old self, though she was her in all the ways that counted. 

I swallowed and reached out, it was time, wasn’t it?

“Hey, been a long time, huh? What are you looking at?” My smile was fake, but it mattered that I smiled right. She wouldn’t know of my pain, and I had to protect her, from myself if nothing else. 

She smiled so easily at me, as if nothing ever happened, as if I was forgiven. God, all I could think about now is how I can feel my own heartbeat. A life for a life, she just didn’t know what was coming for me. I wasn’t about to tell her. I wasn’t ready to apologize, not yet, I just needed a little more time. 

Thank you for being alive, I thought, as she started to point out the fireflies. Thank you for being here with me.

Towards the End

Mary looked up and saw the sky, never ending in all directions, filled and filled with the dark of the birds and the butterflies. Flying and flying, like soldiers into battle they were always heading towards the end, their end. They never stopped, all of them going at it, as if it was their duty.

She walked faster, she needed to get to the shop, now. A sky filled was a bad omen after all, on the blood moon it was just so much worse. There were feathers falling and falling from the sky, a few dead butterflies joining in. Mary walked by three in one sidewalk block and immediately started to run. Bad omens indeed.

The shop in the brick wall was as it always was to those that could see it. It still had the strange writing on the shop door and the windows were very much covered, the closed sign always there for those that bothered to see it.

Mary didn’t bother with the key and barged straight through the wood of the door, which was quite rude to the wood who bristled and shuddered in her wake. She winced, “sorry for intruding, that was rude of me,” she whispered to herself. Deciding to give it a good shinning later, it didn’t deserve her rudeness with all that it kept in.

The shop was in complete disarray, the books had taken refuge on the ceiling for all the good that it did and the charms were barfing in the corner, their magic making a lot more things than rainbows. There was a black hole on the far wall and a white hole on the opposite wall, gravity had became optional, which wasn’t good for any of the antiques on the ground level, they were temperamental as they were.

As Mary came in the shop flew into more of a tizzy than it already was, dust and books flying around her, the cleaning supplies wouldn’t settle down. She covered her head as she headed for the backroom, the best time to leave would be now and she needed to set in the navigation’s.

Stepping in various piles of poisonous glitter that started to resemble mold, Mary took out her keys and shoved it into the blessedly magic-proof lock. She twisted it in and stepped towards the navigation charts easily enough. The door slammed shut behind her and Mary whirred around to see numerous other locks settling into place. Those weren’t there before, but she had no time to do anything about it.

Mary turned to the maps and took out the pixie powder and radioactive salt. With the infinity gems they worked perfectly to scatter all over the maps in small, mesmerizing waves. A little flicker of dark swirling smoke from her fingertips and they were off on the magical hunt to find another location, with better omens and clearer skies.

She didn’t quite get what she wanted though.


The light of several moons greeted her as she peeked outside her door, it was brighter than day outside, though the night had stars that shinned distantly they didn’t greet her here. Mary swallowed and closed the door, if this was the best the shop could come up with then the worst has come to be.

The shop was now on its best behavior, Mary wasn’t in her best temper getting to the door and hadn’t cared much for its method of trying to get her attention. With everything in its place getting to the counter was easy and finding a newly placed map there was easier. It did try running at one point but the medical kit under there decided to betray its location.

The map itself was special enough that even Mary didn’t like it. The map spoke to her and not even in the ignorable whispers that spoke of death and eating glittery souls, no it was annoying questions which Mary knew better than to answer anyway.

“You know where the broom is and yet you don’t do anything about it, is that even a wise decision? Don’t you want to know where your sanity went? Do you want to find the memories about what happened to the girl in the lost glass? You miss the white lady, want to know where she is? You started the bad omens and don’t even know how, don’t you want to know the answer?”

The voice that came from the map never stopped asking questions, and the map itself never stopped moving The only way to use it was to start asking the right questions, so it started asking the right questions. The real danger was finding yourself in the questions. Mary had found herself to many times to like the map.

“Where am I? Why am I here? What am I going to find? When will I find it? Why will I find it here?” Mary was shouting by the end of it, because getting her questions mixed up and not started with W could be very bad for her.

The map finally started going down to whispers and mutters and finally started showing her a location. There was a dot on the map, near the shop, and it seemed to be getting closer, but then collapsed as in the dot got smaller and stopped moving.

This all struck Mary as a little peculiar and very much suspicious, as this dot didn’t even make it to her front door before collapsing. It didn’t even have the decency to come collapsing into her shop door in a shocking and very unsettling way. Now Mary would have to go out there, how rude.

Sighing and resigned to her fate, Mary stepped out the door, ready for anything as any shop keeper would be.

 

Shackles

 

https://zsazsabellagio.tumblr.com/post/34341425410/nimbusfuck-la-fleur-des-murailles-on-we-heart

 

A hundred weights on her shoulders and she couldn’t move.

Her body turned to stone, a spirit gone.

twinkling starlight,

rained from above,

They were accustomed to outlast her;

mocking her in every breath,

watched from aloft.

The eerie dark, streaks towards her;

nameless, wonders, seeking, wanting, believing.

Never moving for they have gone to stone,

like the spirit they have outlasted.

She walked and dances no more.

She looked like a king,

built like a god,

She is a queen,

and all loved her,

a thousand strong.

Yet fire and brimstone, down they went.

Rebellious and turned,

all they needed and wanted, could not save them.

Out cried the abandon and the void;

Upon them descended, beckoning and calling

the reckless and the hateful, they are accused,

they shall fall forgotten,

beyond snow caped peaks.

beyond the horizon, touching over the sky.

They followed and followed,

the trails went cold

the emerald leaves fell to earth

the great beyond beckoned and called-

over carcasses decrepit and eerie,

over vast structures with no end,

over little shelter from rain and snow,

spectacular views with little ways down;

the earth calls beyond.

they followed and followed their hearts forever silent,

Breath forever displaced, gone among the lost

they followed that which should lead them astray-

the cawing birds, like thunder and theater,

and the mountain wisps, leading in perfect circles;

They don’t see-

be still as the light- color that flies,

fleeing from glinting metal.

They walked the tight ropes and

their heart crawled out of their body,

leaving a trail, bloody as it might be-

their crystal balls are still cloudy.

But they looked into the past

To the story about you-

which is the death you create,

They learn too late.

For they saw to early the birds flocked-

to long illusions of cackling power,

they feared, they wronged the crows,

Did they think they would win?

Did they think they would get away?

They long and long to meet their kin-

to know icy bones and dead finery-

to see to hear to feel,

Just once more, they know

that they look down to see one who fell

Astray from concealing shadows and thundering birds

They saw one who may just be better than all this-

gesturing greatness filled with volume

and beacons in the sky that never leave

the world filled with a dying laughter-

a stolen breath that they could feel

could know in their bones,

The world filled with desperation and salvation saw the end is nigh,

for the wreathed crown swallowed them whole

and never left.

Dodging footsteps,

calling out to you,

here you are-

and here you belong

filled with folly and a part of the dawn

With the scales and comets-

with tails like mermaids flowing through the darkness.

The feel apart of stars who are just angels,

With burning souls

O mortal, O son of man,

don’t look at them to long.

For they don’t quite care.

As they colour an illusion, the lights a trickery

nothing is as bright as the sky is scorching-

Blink, and you’ll miss the nights

With its dying sunsets in the glowing dawn,

The dawn that set and rose upon another

Those that needed a new victory,

crowned with honey and roses

with hidden thorns the righteous bleed

and the horns blow and bellow their defeat,

bear their arms so they may see-

the beauty in your bloody armoury.

That fails in desert winds of howling danger

Dying upon red filled ground, rent with blows

They seek to fill you

With a keen sense of storms, so

you will know, a turning when you see it

See the ocean that drank their blood gladly

hungering for more, for the fools upon her seas

Dipping their hands in,

it came back with fell deeds-

An ocean of blood, dying with the poison of tears.

They cupped with dark hands and drank for salvation,

For they could not see the rose and the blade,

all honey and need,

daring and dealing-

with glinting teeth

and forward brightness

rosey poison mixed with

spilled beauty, mistaken for fallen

upturned earth and swirling skirts

what they needed, you see, was

The tortured graves of the fallen-

and the bloody grins of the victorious.

A reflection off the blood moon, told them they had it, for you see,

joyous and in strife,

the hope of the lost rested upon slim shoulders,

and for once the steel of ancestors,

shone through,

“here is one,” they thought,

“here is one they could follow.”

For she bowed to no one.

Not yet was it to be, for hope burned bright

and was stolen in the night,

in a tale for a need for a deal,

they saw through the night

and didn’t despair,

-for they were born into this birthright.

A birthright of balance, and order

all fiery and gold-

not always this way,

but there was something to share,

a hope that was not lost-

merely stolen and nearly returned.

They called for it to be soon, for you see,

it forgave, never forgetting.

The graveyard made of night

The stars burned bright inside,

And the angels, ever vigilant, turned to the mocking moon

that was sunny and bright with stolen fright,

they saw the return of one that would help,

someone to Tell The Tale Of Gods.

 For once more it was heard

Among the wolves and foxes

who bayed and howled, they called and

The night seemed long, not a sound was swallowed.

And down fell the stars, void of wings

To kill, to slay, they wanted blood and marrow

but to their deaths they fall

down upon the summit of every shadow,

They see, the breaking of the sun-

as the goddess of the moon

looked upon all.

And called for benevolence

As she saw her time and,

hailed a long gone faith seeing to

A girl, vigilant as stone, a spirit for all

Dancing and wandering,

built like a God

She is a queen.

White Flag

http://the-great-dreamer.blogspot.ca/2013_07_01_archive.html

I cry to.

I wanted to yell it to the golden havens,

I cry to.

They do not see me stop,

they do not see me bleed.

 

Another war cry and an,

army spills before me.

Like the blood they spill,

they stay in shallow graves.

 

I cry to,

but they do not see.

 

I cry to,

Holding the dead tight,

My shoulders ache,

My colors blur with theirs and-

I cannot let go-

no matter how my hands,

calloused and blistered,

hold the shovel tight,

and dig my own grave,

six feet deep,

and filled with the blood of my enemies.

 

I see their blackened flags.

They soar in the wind,

and my heart roars,

and dies,

and tremors.

 

They don’t see me cry.

They hear the horns on the wind,

my war cry calling out.

 

Fear the golden havens.

 

I glitter in the sun,

but its their blinding convictions-

that make me falter-

I don’t stop.

 

I falter and stumble,

falling and dying.

 

But the dead hold on,

and I can’t stop-

Their swords of ivory,

raised in triumph.

 

I can’t break free,

the chains of a burden-

burned into my skin.

 

The golden havens are no more.

My skin burns.

My hands ache.

My eyes see no more.

 

I follow the black sky,

the red hearts,

the dark farther,

the tightening noose,

I can’t let go.

 

They are before me-

 

Let my arrow fly true.

Let them heed my call.

Let the dead rest true.

 

Gone is the forth wind,

Gone is the wild,

Gone are the clever hands,

 

Rise the dark dawn,

 

The army will not back down,

they stand and fall as I once have.

The wrath of the gods,

Golden and pure,

Red and gone,

no ash left,

there is nothing to stand in my way.

 

Hell begs to have me.

They cannot keep me.

 

I am of the disgraced,

my holy grail,

shattered underfoot,

the coffin of pine wood,

lighter than my body.

 

My armour rent with blows,

My shields lost to the tide,

My sword lost in the night.

 

Paths of dust and rain.

Oath’s lost.

I walk, chasing a shadow.

Never look back.

 

The disgraced don’t go back,

They drink to an early grave.

A shallow grave.

 

To hell’s fire,

and the fire of the night.

To the dawn of golden stars,

and destroyed loyalty.

 

Shot from the heavens,

Gone in the west wind,

No longer a friend.

 

The storm swallows

and dries the crops.

Parched are the needy,

they beg for a sip.

But gone is the giver,

gone is the disgraced,

 

An army fallen-

out of grace-

and out of favor-

out of luck-

and out of gold-

out of love,

 

They fall and burn.

The bold wails of the night-

don’t stop.

 

The disgraced broke.

 

They don’t stop for love and laughter,

stop for the dead,

stop for loyalty.

 

No one stops them,

they shatter and shatter.

The sound of laughter to loud,

To harsh,

to unforgiving,

they need the mercy of death.

 

Perhaps its time.

An ocean burns,

and the tides turn.

The sun’s dying rays,

set into a bottle and-

drunken at sundown.

 

Ready for battle,

ready for fire.

To let out a cacophony of sound-

twist and fall,

let the arrow fly,

did it land?

 

Only the gods know,

But the golden havens are gone.

 

The arrow flies,

the blessings of many cry-

don’t die,

don’t die.

A red dawn,

blood is spilt tonight.

 

Feathers blacken in the wind,

the hate glides right through.

Gone are the golden havens,

right the wrong that never was.

 

 

None can find the spinning dancers,

lips like gold and

dresses spun of moonlight-

and secrecy.

 

They are burdened,

their chains burn,

they feast tonight,

with the kings of old.

With the soldiers of iron,

and the men made of bones.

The women of shrunken colors,

and bright dresses.

Plastered faces

and arrow wounds.

 

Hey, there’s a hole in your chest.

 

The heart beats on,

into the night,

out of the light,

beyond the river,

over the mountains,

 

It beats-

the drums of war-

It calls-

the horns of death-

It beckons-

toward a death of glory-

 

of light,

to a red dawn,

to silver scales,

and angel wings,

 

Victory do right by us

and righteousness be gone.

Let the dead drown,

let their sins drag them down.

 

Gone is the love.

Gone is the light.

All but a candle flame,

waiting to be extinguished.

Distinguished from its brethren.

They glitter and shine.

 

An disgraced,

graces the empty bottle,

with its presence.

 

The dead are carried,

by the shoulders of the wounded,

they do not make it.

 

Another day another night.

Another death another life.

 

The beauty of the war-

is not lost,

by the makers,

by the generals,

by the newly hardened.

 

New weapons.

New shields.

New armor.

 

The disgraced don’t look back.

They do not come back.

 

Let them lie-

a bed of fire,

a shallow gave,

a haunting spirit.

 

They laugh,

and burn.

 

But hell cannot hold them.

 

They thrive

They survive

They live

 

And gone are the red army’s of the dawn,

gone is the laughter.

 

A child cries

 

A golden light

pierces the haven.

A war cry

the living are burdened.

 

Heavy

and gone

 

A war cry

 

The dead are many, varied,

and too much, to bury.

 

Runes and dust,

they cry

they scream

they die

 

Gone is the the graced

 

Here they fear,

they tremble,

and they know,

the disgraced won’t.

 

They won’t,

not ever

not for the dead,

not for broken loyalty,

not for golden glory,

or dying flame,

hell could not hold them.

 

The dead have been reborn

and they

Won’t wave a white flag


This is an emulation from the song White Flag by Bishop Brigs you can find the song here

I’m a mostly happy with this poem, though i didn’t have any plans nor did I know where it would go when I started writing it, but it turned out mostly how I expected it to. The warrior in the poem, was inspired a bit by how even if one goes down a white flag still doesn’t have to come up. The warrior is a better fighter than everyone around them and so as their friends die they choose to carry them around with them.

Free

https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Foefire(Here is -> Pt 1 and -> Pt 3)It was only when Elderon had settled for the paths of moonlight, near the graves of Tellurium that the wind changed. A circle of fire appeared before them, halting the War. It was time it seemed for their changed luck to start getting things done.

The fire burned scarlet around Elderon, giving away the skeletons of Nebar. Nebar skeletons were nothing but dastardly beings of servitude. Power was all they served- and unfortunately Demon Blood and Burning Witch conspirators were very powerful, even if they were hard to come by. They were of a corner of the multiverse that was just a pocket of its former size.

Elderon only knew of one conspirator, a powerful sorcerer known as Maine. They were not fond of him. Not all Nebar skeletons were of Maine’s power but Maine and his skeletons was the only one who would show his face in front of Elderon.

“And what might any of you want?” Elderon called out to them, almost bored. A dissociated whisper blew in with the wind, it’s voice not yet taken words. The skeletons looked amongst themselves before one spoke, in a language not commonly heard, giving voice and words to the wind.

“Our majesty sends you a gift, for the one with the Burning Witch Blood, let it protect you.” The skeleton was no more as Elderon’s lips turned downward. In a show of power and a general air of one not to be disturbed they let the wind spark and turn golden, they gave form to the rise within them. The War raised its head from where it was resting on its cloven hooves, the tusks glinting in the scarlet light.

“Tell Maine the next time he calls me Burning Witch Blood I’ll impale him to his throne. I take no gifts or other from Maine, your sire is not one I trust and he knows it, what business has he to send me anything?” The skeletons stilled at Elderon’s words, the whispers in the air coming to a stop. The skeletons had no flight or fight instincts, they barely had any agency at all, nothing but muscle memory was in them, and that was a powerful enough thing for them to get how scared they really should be at that moment.

Elderon was not one to be messed with on a good day but on a day where their luck has changed, well it’s a miracle carnage had not yet occurred. Trying to keep their patience Elderon decided not to disintegrate the rest of the skeletons and instead let them run back to Marine.

“Go, before I make Maine regret living.” The skeletons hesitated, the flames flickered around Elderon and then as one they turned around, back into the scarlet flames of the Nebar skeletons.

The flames disappeared after them and a voice spoke out, once the War had laid its head down again.

“Getting prissy there Ron.” Elderon looked to their left to see Reshim, one of their first friends. One of the first to fall. (Elderon’s cursed nature made sure of such a thing.)

Reshim was a girl like any other. Yet what set her apart was something that was beginning to become more common as days past. More common as more blood is spilt into waiting earth, ready to hold on. More common as wars raged on and Elderon was called upon more and more.

Elderon, the god of dead heroes and quests gone wrong. Elderon, of the disgraced.

Reshim, a hero. One of a failed quest.

“It’s good to see you to Reshim.” Elderon walked over to give them a hug, not minding in the least the burning sensation of holding one of their disgraced; they had gotten used to it.

“I would say it’s good to see you to Ron, but whenever we see each other these days, it seems your luck has changed.” Elderon shrugged at Reshim’s words, hiding their guilty face by turning away to the War.

“That may be, I need your expertise on this one. Free has strangely been holding its breath these days.” The land they were in seemed sentient some days and on others deader than the burning plains. They would never admit it, but sometimes it scared Elderon when Free became too sentient, it made them feel as if they were walking on a knife’s edge, between something beyond the abyss and something best left unsaid.

Their friends of the dead kind have probably realized how nervous Elderon gets when the wild magic of the forests become raging hurricanes and the golems of the North become ferocious cat-like demons. They no longer feel anything about such things, all they feel is anything that has to do with their patron god Elderon. And what they feel about them is varied.

“Free tends to do what it wants, we just have to go along with it.” Elderon carefully stroked the War’s fur, not looking anywhere near Reshim’s direction. Their mind seemed to be far from the conversation.

“Why?” They asked.

“Elderon, you ask this every time, yet I give you the same answer.” Reshim sighed, “Such is the way Elderon and you know it.”

Elderon’s frozen features turned downward into a scowl, they wanted to rage to do many things, yet they did nothing, for Reshim was right. Such is the way. No matter if they liked it or not.

“You know you seem to rage more than we do.” A new voice joined the conversation, an elf by the name of Glider. Elderon remembered him (as he remembered them all). He was a friend to her during the short years they were on a quest together. Glider was the one to slay the King Druid and start another cycle of death along with its wake. It was actually one of the more tamer results of one of Elderon’s quests. Usually things didn’t turn out as well as just another cycle of mass killing.

Turing to look at his eldritch features that seemed half in shadows, even in the lighting of the moon and star dust. Elderon sighed at him, at his smile and the memory of his last dying breath resounding in their ears.

“You do not rage because I do not tell you to. You do not rage because you cannot feel things anymore. You do not rage because you’re dead. I rage because you’re dead.”

“Well now you’re just whining Ron.” Reshim, walked forward to take Elderon’s hands in hers and lead them away from the War, farther and farther into the Dawn Army, Elderon’s army of failures.

All these hero’s dead because of- well, what? Elderon? No, such can not be. Then it has to be that just because it’s a quest; and they always go wrong in the most spectacular of ways. Elderon just seemed to be there for the ride.

Yet they didn’t always realize this.

Elderon’s shoulder got patted and they shook hands and traded jokes a few times, secret winks and inside jokes were said and made, handshakes with promises of a rematch of that one battle and for once (more than once, always more than once), they thought that that was it. They were home, weren’t they?

They could just forget what happened in that cave with Luck. Yet they could not and the reason they were there was always by their side, always in front of them, behind them, this is the Dawn Army, Elderon’s reason.

Oh how they wish they had no reason, no rhyme. No symphony to play in the part of things. Let the things fall where they may, they always thought, but it could not happen. It was not the way of things.

They reached a bonfire burning a multicolor mix and throwing light in many different directions. The souls of heroes were congregated around it smoking, playing, drinking, as Elderon finally got near enough they stopped enough to salute them, raising their drinks in the air and saying as one, ”To Elderon of heroes!” They laughed after their toast and Elderon laughed with them, content in their joke, knowing they mean no harm.

Elderon sat and the souls congregated around them, everyone of different races and gender, some had found their way closer to Elderon’s side, others content to stay with their friends. But little by little they quieted down, waiting for their god to speak.

“I don’t know who it will be, and what the quest will be. A prophecy has not yet been issued nor has any old one’s been taken up, yet I met the skeletons of Marine as I came here and Luck told me someone will come to see me, though that could mean they just happen to come by me.” Elderon sighed and shook their head, they conjured a mug of tea, never one to drink ale when they could avoid it.

“Ah mate, you know there’s no use worry’in, tha’s jus’ how things ar’. Gods and monsters ar’ ‘spessaly cryptic when it comes ta this type o’ shit.” Fray was growing out of his accent last Elderon heard them. They were one of the first to die on a quest for the chancellor that had shit information and too high stakes, that had dragons involved and some would even say the fea were as well, (though it is not polite to speak of them). Elderon would say that the quest was doomed from the start for they were there from the start, but others would say it was just fate. When it comes to the Dawn Army, Elderon somehow ends up in conversations like these daily.

“Yeah Fray’s right, gods are cryptic as hell, but at least you’re not.” Alen said, making sure to squeeze Elderon on the shoulder, trying to reassure them. Elderon didn’t know Alen well, he was one of the first to die on his quest and they weren’t all that good friends even before then. Elderon made sure to rectify that after.

“I’m not cryptic because you guys are dead and don’t have to go through hoops for my amusement.” Elderon said to them, cries of mock offense and other jeers rang through the clearing lit by stars and Elderon smiled at them, they were home, they felt, this was home.

The feeling wouldn’t last they knew.